The 10 Commandments of Road Safety

2016-12-22 09:37 - Anje Rautenbach
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I always wonder what happens to sense of logic, common decency and manners when humans get behind the wheel; especially when the road conditions are at its worst because during rainy weather or peak season all the factors that form part of the integral components of the science of thought just flies out of the window at the speed of a traffic fine.

Our roads are filled with a variety of drivers; from selfish fools, to incompetent risk-takers, to rude idiots and Grand Prix rookies.

If I just go a bit faster, I might make it in time. I will only go around the corner, do I really need to buckle up? If I overtake this truck everything will be better.

There’s a hint of selfishness in every driver as the goal of the destination often overwhelms the journey and the massive responsibility we all have on the road to not only look out for ourselves but also for others.

We gasp at close calls, miss that vehicle in our blind spot and take chances.

But at what risk?

We are not even halfway through the holiday season and there is already a 17% increase in fatalities on the road.

SEE: SA road deaths spike as extra public holiday puts officials on high alert


Fortunately, there is an easy way to avoid it all; everyone just needs to adhere to the rules of the road.

Unfortunately, the majority of road-users absolutely suck at sticking to the rules.

The 10 Commandments of Road Safety:

1.       Thou shalt not gaze at thy phone.

You’re not fooling anyone if you are staring at your crotch with a smile. Keep your eyes off your damn phone when you are driving! If you are using your phone while driving you deserve a massive punch in the throat.

2.       Thou shalt not throweth trash out of the window.

Are you on your way to a “binless” planet? A planet where there is no trash and trash cans? No, you are not on your way to magical “trashless” Narnia; stop throwing your crap out of the car and just keep it till your next stop to dispose it properly.

3.       Thou shalt not – nev’r – drive intoxicated.

Do not even begin to argue. Do not touch those car keys if you are over the limit, even if you are just slightly over the limited. Uber. Call a taxi. Get a lift with a friend. Dammit people, if you want to do adult things, then act like one.

4.       Thou shalt not taketh any chances.

There is a blind curve in front of you, there is a hill, there is line prohibiting you from overtaking the car in front of you. But do you listen? No! Who do you think you are? Tarzan? Then go swing in a tree. Don’t take chances.

5.       Thou shalt buckle up thy kids.

Parents, parents, parents. We all get it, kids want to sit on your lap but that’s recklessly stupid and if you allow it then you are recklessly stupid. Yes you. Buckle and secure your kid in his or her seat. Hand out lollipops or whatever to keep them happy, but your lap is not a place for a kid in a moving car.

6.       Thou shalt not drive on thy brights. 

Stop blinding other drivers with your brights. Also, creators of all these fancy new cars, are all of you engineers challenged in the eye region? What’s up with the new white-blue lights? It’s even worse than an old car on brights. No man, go back to the drawing board and dim it!

7.       Thou shalt not drive with one light or with faulty lights.

What are you? A motorbike? A fast bicycle? A firefly with a really big bum? Who knows when only light is working. Make sure both lights are in order when you get on the road. Please. Thank you. Goodbye.

8.       Thou shalt adhere to the speed limit. 

Speed limits are actually there for a reason. Heaven knows why people think it doesn’t apply to them. Also, people with fancy cars, just keep in mind that even though your speed-o-meter goes up to 260 km/h, the speed limit applies to you as well. Stop showing off. No one is impressed.

9.       Thou shalt keepeth thy distance. 

If I can read your license plate number in my rear view mirror then you are too close. If you are driving 80km/h and 8 cars can’t fit in the distance between me and you, please tell me, what will happen if I have to stop suddenly? Will your car’s bonnet meet my car’s boot? STOP driving on my arse. I will fart in your face.

10.   Thou shalt practice patience.

Trucks are the best way to practice your patience; if they can’t go faster, they can’t help it. Be patient if you can’t pass a truck and wait until you know it is safe. Patience can be a life-saver.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Don’t be a poephol. Drive safe.

Anje Rautenbach is the writer behind the blog Going Somewhere Slowly, find her Facebook,Twitter  or on Instagram